I recently came across a post – not mentioning any names etc. where a parent posted a lovely video of their child enjoying playing with the door that leads to the toilets in a large chain restaurant. in this video, the child can be seen flapping their hands in enjoyment as they open the door and allowing it to close again. A member of staff is then seen to want to use the door, the child simply stands aside and waits patiently for the person to go through, they then resume playing with the door. This post, on social media site Facebook, was met with mostly positive responses noting how happy the child looked and how precious it was that they were patient when someone needed through. There was, However,  a response or two which sparked this blog post and indeed some personal experience has also inspired this too! The responses in question urged the parent to not allow their child to do this in a public place and my question is why? The child is not causing anyone any harm, they are happy and content surely this is better than the result if this child’s parent was to tell them to stop.

Self-stimulatory behaviours or stimming for short is a way a person self-regulates if there is something positive or negative having an effect on them. in simpler terms, you could say it is output to cover or balance input. From personal experience, stimming allows me to express stress and it equally allows me to express overwhelming happiness or excitement. Being able to stim safely is important to me and I value it very highly. if I was not able to stim I would probably have a much larger meltdown at the end of a day which might result in harmful self-stimulatory behaviour and/or shouting and crying. and it is, in fact, these behaviours we should attempt to prevent.

Public perception is another big subject when it comes to stimming. people are often shocked or intrigued when a person who looks “normal” begins to rock, flap etc. some people think that we should stop them from stimming so that they look more normal and so they won’t become targets for bullying and negative comments. my answer to this, as I am sure it will be with many, is if people are unhappy with it, no one is telling them to look. it is harmless and valuable to the person doing it, who cares what other people think?!

In the past I have been subject to being told to stop flapping and to act my age when I stim in public, I will often stim in public when something is really bothering me, for example on busy buses or trains I will sit and rock in an attempt to soothe myself out of feeling upset and overwhelmed, the rocking often prevents me from crying or lashing out and running away, I would far rather the rocking than crying and running away and I am sure many people would also agree! no one likes people making a scene in public!

To put it very simply, no it is not right to prevent harmless self-stimulatory behaviours! we should all stop caring so much about what other people think of us and start focusing on our selves because autistic people already do a great job of this and aren’t afraid of showing it!